January 2012
2 posts
December 2011
2 posts
November 2011
12 posts
your sweetheart, the drunk: if i wrote nicki's... →
buttlegs:
I drive up in a car with M.I.A. I am in a toy car and I am orange. Even if you are a patriarchal leader I will still dominate as a female. Okay first I’m going to eat your brains, then I’m going to wear jewelry that solidifies my status as a gangster vampire. That’s what monsters fucking do. We…
this
http://loveletters.tribe.net/thread/fce72385-b146-4bf2-9d2e-0dfa6ac7142d James Joyce’s dirty love letters to his mistress Nora. He apparently had a really serious farting fetish which I didn’t know was a thing you could have.
buttlegs:
fuckthebarefootcontessa:
...
Samantha: I DON'T KNOW JIBRAN, I'M NOT A SCIENTIST OKAY
Me: okay okay
Me: I'm sorry.
Samantha: i mean
Samantha: there's gotta be at least like
Samantha: 1,000 body languages things you can do, right
Samantha: i don't know, i don't science
leisures:
The guy from man vs food is cute. I would.
FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT, THANK YOU
edgarsux:
bobbyfinger:
She had dumps like a
A) Truck.
B) Truck.
C) Truck.
D) All of the above.
Thighs like
A) What.
B) What.
C) What.
D) All of the above.
Baby move your
A) Butt.
B) Butt.
C) Butt.
D) I think I’ll sing it again.
“it’s like god took a beef o’bradys and threw fairy dust all over it and blessed...”
– (via myfavoritemovieisbooks)
oh my god i said that
October 2011
23 posts
from the rat's nest: Text from Adam Marret.... →
it is now voice text 30 am. and so the saga begins. the creepy robot is designed to recognize the speech of the human mouth. caroline’s to the success of the monkey rated kingdom therwe no 1 left speak. vocal recognition is so creepy is that the hookers the palm tree no longer use the grounds…
I think this is going to turn into one of those things where every time I’m in a bad...
"she's going to tell him about bitch control"
Jibran’s tumblr: now completely comprised of ridiculous quotes via my dumb mouth
"I AM HUMAN HUNAN LAB"
myfavoritemovieisbooks:
One day when I ask her if she’ll marry me she’ll say yes.
wellalright:
“i’m a fucking wonderful person, you assholes.”
-me in my head to everyone all the time.
gpoy
1 tag
3 tags
ummmmmmm
So… Zoolander and Stefon on SNL. Why isn’t the internet exploding yet
bansand:
there i was at the Party Of The Century. It was the night of the big game. i was gona score some bi”g points” if you know what i’m meaning. i was scoping for the hote babies and i saw the andy. i was scoping from the snacks. i a beer. i got drink the beer. i chugged a few cool sips of that dank ass brew. i knew wha t i had to do. iwa s gonna conquer that hole.
dank ass brew
9 tags
September 2011
1 post
Right now: I’m going to DO THINGS tomorrow! No, like, you don’t understand, I’m going to be productive. Wherein I will make things happen. Tomorrow at 6 PM:
August 2011
3 posts
1 tag
2 tags
2 tags
buttlegs:
myfavoritemovieisbooks:
Facebook engaged to Ryan.
Waiting for the terrified call from my mother tomorrow.
Also. What now Samantha!
In ya face, Samantha!
Polygamy would fix all of this. You live in Utah, this shouldn’t be a problem.
July 2011
2 posts
My mom, deciding what movie she wants to watch with me: “What about The Lincoln Lawyer?” “That sounds… godawful.” “Oh Yeah I forgot you can only watch movies with subtitles in them.” Even my mother thinks I’m an elitist asshole.
June 2011
2 posts
how am i getting followers i only reblog the stupid shit my friends say
…but oh yeah thanks new followers
Dickpocket.
You… didn’t… TAG ME.
May 2011
2 posts
buttlegs:
wearesexbobomb said: I’m pretty sure they’re all like.. best friends. It’s like if you and I and Sven and Samantha and Alex wrote a tv show. You would be Sweet D (of course). Samantha is Charlie. Alex is Dennis Sven is Mac I’m Danny DeVito.
Accurate.
hahahaha I’M CHARLIE Jibran, come back into my liiiiiiiiiife.
REBLOG IF YOU'RE SEEING SUFJAN STEVENS IN BROOKLYN...
svennysvensven:
ivetupintheclouds:
Yes I am doing this.
Damn straight.
April 2011
7 posts
